Holiday Excuse For a Party

 The day is almost upon us!  

If you haven't yet, please answer the RSVP questions because I'm going to obnoxiously turn the answers into a game.  If you regret answering the questions now because of this, well... if that's your biggest regret from this party, you're coming out on top.

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Now, to address a few questions I've received:

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1) What should I bring?

So far we have mostly carbs (both savory and sweet) and booze.  You can bring whatever your heart desires, or if the idea of having to come up with something is making you stressy depressy, then just bring yourself and have a good time.  I swear no one has died of thirst or starvation at my house yet, and it's unlikely to happen this Saturday.  That being said, if you do perish here, I'm dumping your body in the creek behind my house.  I will keep your teeth.

I'll provide a salad, crudites, a shark coochie board, sushi, and some dessert.

I have an abundance of red wine, tequila, whiskey, and some other liquors, I can't remember what.  I have some hard seltzers and hard kombuchas.  I don't have much white wine and I do not have beer.  If that's what you want to drink, you may want to grab some.  I'll be making a pitcher of Mr. Lucky's.

There's also plenty of non-alcoholic sparkling water and regular kombucha.  I suppose you could also drink regular water.  I have a tap.  And a hose.

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2) What should I wear?

Again, whatever your heart desires.  You can show up in just a trench coat and a Santa hat if you want to.  You can show up in the skin of a mall Santa that wronged you (I mean, Tickle-Me-Elmo was really hard to find that year, but he really should have worked harder to make it happen).

I will be wearing my hand-crafted sweater and something black?  Yes.  Something black.

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3) Is it okay if I show up late?

Remember the whole thing where the times were given in "ish"?  I live here and I'll probably be late.  I said 3:30pm mostly for my own benefit because this means I'll likely be ready by... 4:30? 5?  I'm sure you've all experienced the Chen Time Vortex.  My day will go something like this: